The Hardest Thing


The hardest thing is writing something humorous in a time of crisis. 

Looking through funny quotes by famous or not-so-famous people, I haven’t been able to find all that much that would be relevant during a pandemic.  Well, OK.  I haven’t really looked that much.  But I am thinking about it.  That’s the second hardest thing.  Thinking about it.

Maybe turning off the TV would help.

Drink some iced tea. 

As a child I discovered that black tea made me happy.  As an adult, I discovered coffee made me nervous.  The discovery of alcohol made me want to dance.  If I drank all three, it would make me a happy, but nervous, dancer.  I have images of Elaine from Seinfeld dancing like a crazy.  That’s it.  Just a crazy.  Happy and weird.  Love her.

Throughout life, my choice of drink depended on what needed to be accomplished.  Need to love life?  Tea.  Need to jump on a freeway jammed with angry drivers who weren’t going anywhere fast?  Coffee.  Of course.  Might as well be as nervous and uptight as everyone else.  Now.  During a pandemic.  Hold the coffee! 

A Quote:

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.”  Rodney Dangerfield

Another Quote:

“I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.” – Colonel Sanders

Not working and having a little spare time on my hands during these pandemic days, memories of my life before I was twenty are finding their way to the forefront.  That top drawer of my brain file that has been locked has suddenly opened and spilled out so many memories.  Sifting through them is not a full-time job.  They present themselves in spurts, so that I say “oh wow” a lot. 


“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire

Weird pandemic dreams have settled down a bit lately.  I still have them every night and remember them fully.  Almost.  But now they aren’t bazaar.  They are all about working at jobs I didn’t like that much, or at all, but I don’t hate my bosses.  You’re right.  That’s bazaar.  I wonder if I’m becoming a better person or if I’m just tired of hating. 

Eating has become a full-time staple.  I do it with relish.  Used to hate relish, but since my doctor told me to stop eating acid foods I have to try weird foods.  Like relish.  I wonder if the dreams about drowning in relish will come soon. 

Been thinking of adopting a dog.  A cuddler.  A best friend who will love me no matter what I say or do.  Or smell like.  But I have birds and it’s really an unsure proposition how they would react to a dog.  I got a new chair the other day which is sitting within two feet of their cage, and they act like it’s a monster.  Especially when I sit in it.  Do they think the monster is cuddling me?  See what I mean?  But I’m in the monster-chair’s lap and a dog would be in mine.  Unless I got a really huge dog.  But the dog would have to clean up it’s own poop and I just don’t have the time to teach it.  I mean, I’m eating relish now.

That reminds me.  It’s lunchtime. 

Last Quote:

“Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.” – Mark Twain

Gotta go.  Have a great day and stay healthy!  Wear a damn mask!



The silence is overwhelming.  Yes, people are talking.  Discussing.  Debating.  Voicing their opinions.  But there is a silence in the land, a void of consciousness not in sound but in action.  It’s in the air.  There is hate in the air. 

Crying can be felt as well as heard.  Do you feel it?  Sadness.  Confusion.  Thousands of children, men, and women are crying.  Feelings of loss.  Any mother or father, brother or sister, can sense it and cries inside if not outside.  We still must go to work, shop for groceries, get on with day-to-day activities.  But the sadness of what is becoming somewhat accepted in this land eats at and consumes hearts, minds, and souls.  It is a plague.  Rotten.  To the core.

Turn on the TV.  Watch the news.  Listen to lies.  Watch faces of liars.  Some liars smile like elves, and others wave their arms in the air and say, “Believe me”.  But they’re all liars.  Selfish, soulless, immoral liars.  In their effort to place blame on others, they go against everything that is good and loving.  They try to distract from their own acts.  But these are not children.  They are not hiding cookies stolen from some cookie jar.  They are grown men and women who feel they have power over others, and they intend to use it.  “Who cares if children get hurt.”  That’s what they think as their mouths spew forth words of “It’s not my fault”, or “Arm the teachers”, or “But god says….”.  Liars.  They lecture about being pro-life, and yet happily separate children from their mothers, as they quote from bibles.  Sending thoughts and prayers.  They lecture about being good people, yet they watch as children are murdered on an almost weekly basis in our schools and streets.  And they send their thought and prayers.

The bully sits at the head of the table shaking his fist and calling names.  Grown men cower.  Grown men cower.  Grown men who have been elected to protect the constitution cower and praise the bully.  In front of cameras!  Smiling!

People talk.  On TV it’s one channel against another.  One show praises and defends the wickedness.  If you squint your eyes just so, you can feel, smell, the acrid odors coming through the monitors into your homes.  They revel in the idea of an administration which is overtly putting into motion laws and actions that hurt those who are not in their favor.  And they smile.  This makes them happy.    

Others speak of laws and debate over what can be done.  Their intentions are good.  They care.  They educate.  Their concern is real, and it is felt.  But, it passes quickly as, without realizing it, they bring the bullies back into the room and give them more air time.  More showtime.  It’s part of what keeps the bullies bad and glad.  They are the stars once again.

We need leaders.  Strong leaders who will not wilt and crumble under the loudness of the tyrant.  Let the others do their work behind the scenes to build a cell wall around the bullies, but in the meantime, we need leaders.  I do not want to live in Nazi America.  I see the beginning of concentration camps and it is concerning.  Frightening.  Maddening.  We cannot let this happen.

We need leaders.  Honest, caring, strong leaders.  Martin Luther King, Jr. is gone.  Loved forever.  Never forgotten.  We need someone with his strength.  His dedication.  Man or woman, it makes no difference. 

This feels like the 60s.  Protesting, caring about the planet and all living things.  The changes that came out of that era are with us today. Change didn’t happen overnight, and it wasn’t without struggles, because change takes time.  And hard work.

But how much time do we have now?  The bullies are gathering on the sidelines and amassing strength and weapons.  They light torches.  Scream at and confront people in parks, parking lots and stores, people they don’t know but have decided they just don’t like.  Ugly contorted faces lean out of car windows and try to intimidate.  Then, they praise the bully.  

The Resistance is growing.  I believe the Resistance will cut through the wall of hate that is trying to engulf America.  I believe.  Let’s resist together.  Let’s break the silence.